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Valentine’s Day is the nemesis of every dude worth his weight in beer. And it’s considerably worse for the guy who wants out of a relationship. That is unless you’re willing to take the fight to Hallmark. Here are ten Valentine’s Day gift ideas for the guy who’s trying to get his girlfriend to dump him…

Gift Idea #1: The Die Hard Collection on Blu-Ray

Gift Idea #2: Worthless Homemade Coupons

Gift Idea #3: Sessions with a Personal Trainer

Gift Idea #4: A Camcorder (Delivered with a Wink and a Smile)

Gift Idea #5: The Snuggie

Gift Idea #6: Smoothie Blender Complete with Meal Replacement Recipes

Gift Idea #7: Mall Bucks

Gift Idea #8: The “I Beat Anorexia” T-Shirt

Gift Idea #9: DirecTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket Early Subscriber Package

Gift Idea #10: A Devastatingly Accurate Digital Scale


Gift Idea #11: A Fun and Convenient Hot Dog Cooker

Gift Idea #12: A Snazzy New Vacuum Cleaner

Passive aggressively breaking up has never been this much fun!

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