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A person’s DVD collection is essentially a window into their soul. With that in mind Team Cool & Tough has put together this definitive list of movies no dude should have in their DVD collection, lest they run the risk of looking like a douchebag, and maybe even a homosexual douchebag.

If any of the following are currently sitting in your DVD collection, we recommend you rush home and burn your house down:

  • The Notebook
  • My Best Friend’s Wedding
  • Legally Blonde
  • Anything Sex in the City.
  • You’ve Got Mail
  • Anything with Hugh Grant.
  • Pretty Woman
  • Any movie where animals talk.
  • P.S. I Love You
  • Sleepless in Seattle
  • Any movie starring an adult Drew Barrymore.
  • Anything where characters spontaneously break out into song.
  • Any “period piece” that doesn’t contain strong violence.
  • Anything with Matthew McConaughey and some actress’s name above the title.
  • Anything with Sandra Bullock not co-starring Keanu Reeves and not named Speed.
  • Meet Joe Black
  • Anything starring Patrick Swayze where he doesn’t violently kill someone.
  • How Stella Got Her Groove Back
  • Anything with Kate Hudson not named Almost Famous.
  • 27 Dresses
  • Any movie where there premise revolves around dancing.
  • Anything starring Hilary Duff.
  • The Bridges of Madison County
  • Anything starring Bette Midler not named Drowning Mona.

  • Fried Green Tomatoes
  • Anything with Whoopie Goldberg.
  • Grease
  • Anything starring Pauly Shore.
  • Love Actually
  • Father of the Bride
  • Anything where Dane Cook is supposed to be funny.
  • Any season of Friends.
  • Titanic
  • Anything with subtitles not named Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
  • White Chicks
  • Any sequel not starring the original cast.
  • Mean Girls
  • Your wedding video.
  • Any Star Wars prequel.
  • Devil Wears Prada
  • Any movie where a formerly awesome comedian dresses in a fat suit and/or drag.
  • Clueless
  • Any movie Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had anything to do with.
  • Waiting to Exhale
  • Any movie starring J. Lo not named Out of Sight or U-Turn.
  • Girl, Interrupted
  • Any Wayans Brothers movie.
  • Any movie with Madonna.
  • A League of Their Own
  • Anything Harry Potter related.
  • The English Patient
  • Any movie with homoerotic undertones that doesn’t lead to chicks making out.
  • Steel Magnolias
  • Any movie starring Cher.
  • Thelma & Louise

So what we’re pretty telling you is: when in doubt, go Stallone.

Update: After some consideration we’ve removed “Anything animated”. “Any movies where animals talk” sufficiently covers what we were going for.

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