Now that the Tampa Bay Rays are officially heading to the ALCS we’ve decided to not only recognize the name “Rays” going forward, but also to firmly plant ourselves in a captain’s chair on the team’s bandwagon. Here are 14 of the reasons why. Feel free to join us. It’s quite comfy.
- Rooting Against the Red Sox. Rooting for the Red Sox was so 2004. 2008 is all about banning together against Massholes.
- Jenn Sterger. She’s also a fan. And now that she smells free pub like blood in the water she’s sure to be making an appearance as the Ray’s chestiest supporter.
- Being a Rays Expert. Since no one knows anything about the Rays you can make up obscure facts and people will believe you. It’s quite empowering.
- The Gulf of Mexico. As far as bodies of water go, the Gulf is totally underrated.
- Bucs Cheerleaders. There’s a chance they’re also Rays fans. Which means we should link to this picture. And this one.
- Evan Longoria / Eva Longoria Jokes. Some people still haven’t heard them. Pretend you just made one up and those people will think you’re clever.
- The Nasty Boys. They don’t make appearances at Fenway. They’re Rays fans.
- Baseball in a Dome. It’s just weird enough to sound cool.
- Busch Gardens. We’re to understand it’s a beer theme park, just like Duff Gardens. Sign us up.
- The Happy Heckler. That guy is kind of awesome. And his dedication to his craft is finally paying off with an ALCS appearance.
- More Cowbell. We’ve done some research and discovered that the Rays are the only professional sports team to implement the “More Cowbell” skit into their gameday experience. You’d imagine more organizations would have thought of this.
- Jeff Garcia Jokes. If you’re a fan of a Tampa team you can make jokes about Jeff Garcia’s sexuality without coming off as a homophobe. That’s the way it works.
- Thunderdome. Tropicana Field was known as the “Thunderdome” for a couple of years in the 90′s. You’ll sound pretty money exclusively referring to it as that while making obscure Mad Max references.
- And Wade Boggs. He lives in Tampa. Meet him for Happy Hour.