Being in the southeast it’s rare we discover a new, revolutionary product well before the rest of the country does, but that happens to be the case with Sweet Tea Vodka so we intend to act super cutting edge over it.
We had recently heard whispers about the new sweet tea flavored vodka produced by South Carolina’s Firefly Distillery but up until this past weekend we haven’t had a chance to try it. And guess what? It tastes just like sweet tea. But it’s actually 70 proof vodka! Truly amazing stuff. We haven’t witnessed liquor masked this well since our April 2001 cooler of slut juice, a concoction well remembered as our all-time best.
In fact, we’re already referring to Sweet Tea Vodka as “the new roofie” (with “the old roofie” being an actual roofie). Half and half the stuff with water and you’ve got a mean sweet tea. Half and half the stuff with lemonade and you’ve got a “Dirty Palmer” (Irony swears he coined this name but we’re willing to bet he stole it from the high school kids he sells beer to).
The product is destined to take off. And just imagine the possibilities when it does. We’re already cooking up a marketing campaign that would roughly revolve around the tagline, “Turning northerners into sweet tea fans and ugly dudes into ladies’ men since 2008.” It’s a work in progress of course.
Sweet Tea Vodka is only available in ten states to date, but if everyone makes a concerted effort to pressure the ethnic couple that runs their local package store that number will increase in a hurry. So get on it.