The Growing Legend Of Matty Ice

September 9th, 2008 by in Funny
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Few football players have become the stuff of legend as quickly as Matt Ryan. Here are 20 interesting facts you should probably know going into the Matty Ice era of the NFL.

  • Matt Ryan got the nickname “Matty Ice” after drinking 63 Milwaukee’s Best Ices on a cross-country flight. People also think he’s cool under pressure.
  • At Atlanta’s The Cheetah the girls get in trouble for touching Matt Ryan.
  • Matt Ryan wears white after Labor Day and looks good doing it.
  • Matt Ryan threw a touchdown with his first pass in an NFL game…using his non-dominate arm.

  • Matt Ryan is the real father of Bridget Moynahan’s baby. Tom Brady just pays the child support.
  • Steve Wonderlic had to take the Matt Ryan exam.
  • Michael Turner ran for over 200 yards in his Falcons debut because Matt Ryan told him he’d sleep with his sister otherwise.
  • When an airline attendant asks Matt Ryan if he packed any firearms he whips out his dong.
  • Matt Ryan trains pitbulls to be seeing eye dogs.
  • Matt Ryan goes to great lengths to look goofy in public because otherwise he’d get laid way too often to concentrate on football.
  • Moments after Tom Brady got injured bystanders saw Matt Ryan say to himself, “There can be only one.”

  • Matt Ryan fooled the world into believing two midget running backs were full sized men at Boston College.
  • Matt Ryan once got decapitated. But then screwed his head back on and got the W.

  • When Matt Ryan buys Trojan Magnum XLs it’s not to be ironic.
  • Matt Ryan once ate ten Saltine crackers in a minute. Then chased it with a loaf of bread.
  • His freshman year at Boston College Matt Ryan broke into MIT at night and solved algorithms just to prove Good Will Hunting wasn’t anything special.
  • Erin Andrews Googles Matt Ryan.

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