The NFL has acknowledged that they will in fact recognize Chad Johnson’s new legally changed last name, Ocho Cinco, and allow the name to appear on his jersey. This is quite the revelation and once again proves that all it takes is a certain level of commitment for your dreams to become a reality. We haven’t been able to stop thinking about the possibilities. So we’ve busted out our caveman MS Paint skills once again to list ten last name changes we’d like to see happen immediately. Hopefully these guys will sack up.
Drew Brees. Dear Drew, please make this happen. We swear we’ll never make a mole joke ever again.
Derek Anderson. When you earn a nickname like Horse Balls it’s your duty to flaunt it.
Tony Romo. Kind of inevitable. Our sources tell us that despite a big push from the Simpson camp for Tony to fully take her last name he’s manning up and demanding the hyphen.
TJ Houshmandzadeh. It’s what you call him anyways. Might as well make it official.
Adrian Peterson. From the first time Kissing Suzy Kolber coined it it’s all we’ve known him as.
Ben Roethlisberger. Like you didn’t see this coming.
Randy Moss. “Next time I might shake my dick” was just a little too long.
LenDale White. It took a couple of seasons but he’s truffle shuffled his way into our hearts. You know, cause he’s chubby. And plays a skill position.
Clinton Portis. Because of all the alter egos, Dolemite Jenkins is our favorite.
Jake Long. Dude just needs to go ahead and set the tone his rookie season.
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